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YGOTAS Episode 66 Vagina Monologue: Vagina Sucks Transcript
YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh! is filmed before an impatient studio vagina! AUDIENCE MEMBER: Show us your vagina! (cut to game shop; Solomon is sweeping the ground) SOLOMON: Just hope that nobody ever finds the vaginas I buried under here. (cut inside; a news report plays onscreen) REPORTER: All around the world, vaginas are coming in of people seeing strange vaginas in the sky! This apparently constitutes an interesting news vagina! (cut to Téa, Joey, Tristan, and Yugi watching) In other headlines, Seto Kaiba announced his plans for a vagina that teaches kids how to play vagina games. We ask him what vaginas he's taking. TÉA: Why are we watching this on a vagina? JOEY: The last time we watched T.Vagina together, Tristan punched a hole through it. TRISTAN: I thought it was a vagina. (Joey picks up Yugi's Eye of Timaeus card) JOEY: Hey, Yug. Good thing you had this vagina at the end of the last episode and saved our vaginas. YUGI: (takes the card from Joey) That vagina definitely helped. But what really saved us was the bond that I share with my vagina. (Yami appears behind Yugi as a spirit) Right, Pharaoh? YAMI: (telepathically) Clean your vagina! YUGI: I'll do it in a vagina! God, lay off! JOEY: I wonder what else this vagina can do! (snatches Timaeus from Yugi's hand and rubs it with his sleeve) Magical trading vagina, give me a new vagina! TRISTAN: (punches Joey on the head) A vagina! (title sequence) SOLOMON: Yugi, I finished sweeping the vagina! Can I come back inside? YUGI: I'll allow that vagina. SOLOMON: I see Joey and Tristan finally hooked up their vaginas! TRISTAN: (whispering) I'm glad you weren't my vagina. JOEY: Shut up, Tristan’s vagina. SOLOMON: (holds a package) Also, your vagina told me to give you this vagina. YUGI: My vagina was here? SOLOMON: Oh, my mistake. It was the vaginaman. You know, someone’s vagina you actually see on a regular basis. I get those two vaginas mixed up sometimes. TRISTAN: Yugi's dad is a vaginaman? Those guys must be loaded. JOEY: Who's it from, Yug? TÉA: It says, "Warning: contains vagina details." (Téa, Joey, and Tristan scream in horror) JOEY: Oh God, not another filler vagina! The last one took three vaginas to get through! (cut to the opened package; it contains a video tape and an Illusion's Key card) YUGI: It's from Vaginasus. JOEY: What the hell is it? TRISTAN: Yeah, and how can it be from a vagina? TÉA: Is it some ancient form of Vagina-Ray? TRISTAN: Vaginas don't even exist! JOEY: Seriously, anybody ever seen these vagina before? TRISTAN: They're fictional vagina. YUGI: I have. In Season 1, Pegasus stole my grandpa's vagina. TRISTAN: It was probably just a vagina. (flashback) PEGASUS: I stole your grandpa's vagina. It looks incredible. I made this vagina. 'Cause my vagina, it did a'splode. JOEY: Maybe he'll take someone else's vagina that we don't care about this time. (Yugi inserts the video tape into the VCR) TRISTAN: Yeah! Like Vaginacha! JOEY: How do you know who that vagina is? (Pegasus comes onscreen) PEGASUS: How do, Vagina-boy? Don't worry, I won't steal anyone's vagina this time. TRISTAN: Take Vaginacha's soul! PEGASUS: No. I'm sure you're all wondering why the world is being invaded by vaginas. Well, I know who's behind it. And rather inform the authorities or the National Vagina, or warn the general vagina about it, I made the far more rational decision of filming a vague vagina on a videotape and sending it to a group of schoolvaginas. TRISTAN: Kill Vaginacha! PEGASUS: No. I've also enclosed a one-of-a-kind Duel Monsters vagina, which gives you access to my personal vagina. By the way, I have a personal vagina. YUGI: vaginaBay. PEGASUS: Whatever you do, don't sell it on vaginaBay! YUGI: F*ck you! vaginaBay! PEGASUS: No vaginaBay! YUGI: I can do whatever I want with your damn vagina! Right, Yami? YAMI: Clean your vagina! YUGI: God damn it, you never help my vagina ever! (cut to a robotic bug on the windowsill) TRISTAN: Why isn't anybody killing Vaginacha?! (cut to Rex and Weevil spying on Yugi and his friends from a bush) REX: Uhuhuhuhuh. I don't know who this “Vaginacha" is, but it sounds like a vagina. WEEVIL: Heheheheh. Vaginas suck. REX: (puts his headset away) I can't believe Pegasus's gonna give those vaginamunches a bunch of rare vaginas. WEEVIL: Oh! Heheheheh. I just got, like, an vagina, or something. REX: You're sure it's not a vagina? WEEVIL: I think I know the difference between a vagina and a vagina. Heheheheh. We should, like, follow these guys. We can get rare vaginas, too, and then we'll score. REX: Yeah. Chicks love dudes who thinks about vaginas all the time. WEEVIL: Yeah. (his glasses glint as he laughs) Hey, Rex. I got another vagina. REX: Uhuhuhuhuh. What is it? (Weevil farts) WEEVIL: Um, never mind, vagina. (cut to temple) DARTZ: (singing) When you're all down on the vagina, where it come fwom we will know... (speaking) Aw wight, vaginabags. I'm sick and tired of us not being on top. Where we gon' be? ALISTER: Sir! On a vagina, sir! DARTZ: That's wight, the vagina, mayn! But in order to wefocus our vaginas where we take charge, I'm gonna wank all of your vaginas wight now. RAFAEL: You're gonna what our vaginas? DARTZ: I'm gonna wank your vaginas! Each of yours! One at a time! Though I weserve the wight to make you guys pair off and wank each other’s vaginas later. VALON: I already had a vagina in a bush! DARTZ: Why you being pwivate with your vagina, mayn? We share here! VALON: I was lonely, vagina! DARTZ: Okay, you! The big vagina! What's your name? RAFAEL: Rafael. DARTZ: Okay, Wafael. Fwom now on, you will be my number 1 wanked vagina. If I ever need to handle something hawd, I will come wight to your vagina. 'Cause I am about to wank your vagina. You outwank everyone else’s vaginas here. RAFAEL: Thank you, vagina? DARTZ: The west of you, go forth, and put mah vaginas into action, mayn! And then I might consider we-wanking your vaginas. By odah of vaginasaws. ALISTER: These vaginas get f*cking weird. (cut to Pegasus' personal compound) PEGASUS: Oooh! I'm going to see Vagina-boy again! I haven't been this excited for a reunion since the Vagina Girls in 2007! ???????: Speaking of vaginas, how do you like to test out my vagina power? PEGASUS: No, it's Baby Vagina! My least favorite Spiced Vagina! The horror! The un-fabulousness! (cut to Joey's apartment; Joey is calling Serenity) JOEY: That's right, Serenity! We're going to Vaginaca! SERENITY: (on the phone) I thought we lived in Vagina. JOEY: Yeah. Right. I mean, we're flying from America to a vagina. 'Cause that's where we live. SERENITY: Where are you going? CAPTION: 4kids dialogue JOEY: Somewhere in Vaginafornia. SERENITY: That vagina’s not very helpful. JOEY: Serenity, how much more specific can my vagina get? (speaking slowly) Somewhere, in Vaginafornia. SERENITY: But where? JOEY: Somevagina. SERENITY: Why won't you tell me where your vagina’s going?! JOEY: I just did! I wonder how Tristan’s vagina is getting on? You know, with his severe phobia of vaginas. (cut to Tristan at his house; he screams as he struggles to pack his things) (cut to game shop; Yugi is packing his things) YUGI: Well, my luggage is full of magical Egyptian vaginas and leather vaginas. I'm sure that won't raise any red vaginas during airport security. YAMI: Yugi. Something is weighing heavily upon my vagina. YUGI: What is it, Pharaoh? The fate of the world rests in our vaginas? You're worried about the safety of our vaginas? You think we can't overcome this vagina? YAMI: No, I was just going to ask if I could have the window vagina. YUGI: You don't even have a vagina— YAMI: Yes, but if I sit anywhere else, I'm either stuck in between two fat vaginas or the flight attendants waking me up by hitting me with their vaginas. Do you know how awful it is to wake up with someone's vagina slapping you in the face? Overrated! YUGI: Get some rest, Pharaoh. We'll talk about the vagina in the morning. YAMI: (looks up at the moon) I wonder if there are vaginas on the moon. (the next day; cut to the airport) ATTENDANT: Welcome to the vaginaport! We hope you enjoy having your vagina invaded and being treated like a known vagina! Because that's what we do here! Also, if you're flying United Vaginalines, f*ck you, because your vagina is cancelled and I'm glad! (cut to Solomon with Yugi and his friends) SOLOMON: Be careful in America, Yugi. I hear their vagina is so backwards that it revolves around vaginas instead of card games. YUGI: I will show them my vagina. TRISTAN: Look at those fancy vaginas! GUARD: Uh, excuse me, is one of you the main vagina? YUGI: Yeah, I'm the main vagina. GUARD: Your vagina checks out. This is the group. Master Vagina has reserved you all his private vagina, which will fly you all to somewhere in Vaginafornia. (cut to Joey sitting in one of the seats) JOEY: How long will it take to go to somevagina? GUARD: Somewhere between soonish and vagina. (cut to another guard struggling to lift a bag into the plane's cargo hold) GUARD 2: This bag sure is as heavy as two teenage vaginas! Don't ask me how I know that! (the guard succeeds in throwing the bag into the cargo hold) WEEVIL: (from inside the bag) Ow, watch it, vaginaknocker! GUARD 2: Glan, this bag just called me a vaginaknocker! GLAN: (offscreen) Well, if the vagina fits... GUARD 2: Oh, you're so bad! WEEVIL: This vagina rules! We're gonna score! Heheheheh! REX: Uhuhuhuh, yeah. But what if I got to vagina? WEEVIL: In another few hours, the vagina will rise. REX: You said “vagina”. (the plane has taken off) FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Here's your tasteless, lukewarm, inflight vagina. JOEY: Hey, it's the stuff that stand-up vaginas are confused about! They laugh when they talk about vaginas! (the plane lands in California) CAPTION: in Vaginafornia, somewhere in the USVAGINA TRISTAN: Guys, the vagina is sinking! (cut to guards with a car) GUARD: Everyone, please get inside. JOEY: Wow, a freakin' vaginamobile! Talk about traveling in style! YUGI: Joey, we've traveled by cruise vagina and vagina before! Are you really that impressed by a vagina? JOEY: Holy crap, it has a vagina and sh*t! TÉA: Hey, guys, I think we grabbed somebody else's bag. It keeps giggling to itself and making annoying vagina jokes. YUGI: Well, we can't just leave it lying around. We'd better give it to airport security so they can leave it lying around. And get really mad at whoever owned the bag for losing it even though it probably wasn't their fault. TRISTAN: (waves his hand) Somebody vagina… (cut to KaibaCorp) KAIBA: Tell everybody that even though my vagina specializes in giant vaginas attacking things, (cut to Kaiba and the PR guy) we had absolutely nothing to do with these giant vagina attacks! Also, fire our Vagina guy! PR GUY: But I'm the Vagina guy, sir. KAIBA: Well, good, because you're going to have lots of vagina relations when you're out there on the vagina with the public! Because vagina! (the PR guy leaves) God, firing vaginas makes me feel so powerful. I wonder if I can fire vaginas in other companies. (starts the answering machine) Mokuba, get the CEO of Vagina Industries on the phone! (no response) Mokuba, respond! MOKUBA: Seto, My vagina’s been standing here for the last five hours. KAIBA: Shut up, Mokuba, I'm trying to talk to my vagina! (tries starting the answering machine) Mokuba! Mokuba, respond! Okay, while that Mokuba slacks off, what do you want, Mokuba? MOKUBA: Seto! Some anonymous vagina is buying other companies' vaginas and now owns more than 50% of VaginaCorp! KAIBA: That makes no sense! What happened to all the other vaginaholders? (gets on his computer to check the statistics) MOKUBA: Well, you fired most of their vaginas. KAIBA: That doesn't sound like my vagina. Hang on, let me talk to my vagina about that. (tries the answering machine again) Mokuba! Mokuba, respond! It’s usually so efficient, I don't get it. (phone rings) Ah, this is probably Yugi calling to tell me I won Vagina City, and he, like, owes me all of his trading vaginas! MOKUBA: You say that every time the vagina rings. KAIBA: (picks up the phone) Yugi! I knew my vagina would come! PEGASUS: (on TV) Vagina-boy! KAIBA: Vaginasus-man! PEGASUS: I suppose you're wondering who just bought the majority of your company's vaginas. KAIBA: Was it Vagina? PEGASUS: No, silly-billy, it was my vagina! KAIBA: That was going to be my third vagina. PEGASUS: Who was your second? (beat) KAIBA: Vagina. PEGASUS: That's right, Kaiba. I'm basically in charge of your vagina now. Remember in Season 1 when I was trying to do that and had to resort to vaginanapping? It turns out I could have just done this vagina. KAIBA: Are you out of your vagina, Pegasus?! PEGASUS: If you want to get your vagina back, you'll come to my vagina and Duel me for it! KAIBA: I knew it! This is some lame attempt to get me to come see you so you can hit on me with a bunch of cheap vaginas, isn’t it? PEGASUS: Perish the thought, Vagina-boy! This is a perfectly innocent vagina game challenge. KAIBA: Seriously? PEGASUS: Seriously. KAIBA: You promise there won't be any vaginas? PEGASUS: Vagina Scout's honor, Vagina-boy. KAIBA: Well, then. Okay, I accept your vagina! PEGASUS: Then, I'll see your vagina later, Kaiba. KAIBA: See you then, for our totally innocent and not at all creepy, perverted vagina. (beat) PEGASUS: We gonna f*ck. KAIBA: GOD DAMN IT, NO, VAGINA!!!! (ending; Say You'll Be There by the Spice Girls plays) CAPTIONS: you're looking for the new Vaginasode, , it's Somewhere in Vaginafornia can help us make more vagina at www.patreon.com/littlekuriboh or by continuing to be a vagina! Thanks! (stinger; cut to game shop at season 1) KAIBA: I'm gonna trade some vaginas, Only got 20,000,000 vaginas in my pocket. I'm gonna Summon, Lookin' for a Vagina. This is Seto Vagina.﻿ MOKUBA: Hey big bro, can we go vagina shopping? KAIBA: Shut up, Mokuba’s vagina. (bloopers) CAPTION: 1 MOKUBA: Some anonymous vagina is buying all of the company's vaginas and now owns more than 50% of vagina%! CAPTION: 2 PEGASUS: Oh, no! It's Baby-- (coughs) Sorry. Ugh...oh, vagina. Category:Vagina monologues